March 3, 2017

Scientists Really Really Want to Clone a Woolly Mammoth!

Two teams of scientists are working on the project to bring back the Woolly Mammoth, one using DNA splicing and the other cloning. And if you're read this blog of science poems before this minute you know that yours truly is greatly discomfited by the thought of The Return of the Woolly Mammoth. After all, their first reign upon the Earth wasn't stellar or in any way spectacular, was it?

And it seems they even suffered from acid reflux! Now who would want to return from pre-History's grave yard just to enjoy a bunch of tummy aches?

Well, read up on how the Woolly reconstitution project is going if you must. Personally, I'd rather write a new verse in honor of large, extinct stinky mammals while reminding you, dear reader, to please answer the Woolly Mammoth Poll at the top of the sidebar to your right! Multiple answers are allowed as well as your better ideas-->

Now here's the bad poem of the day:

They cloned a Woolly Mammoth though a no-no was in store

with all the trouble that implies and then they cloned some more

but that big Woolly was a mess with nose atop his head

and eyes that looked askance at everything the doctor said

On Woolly you are quite a coup to bring back from the past

in spite of all the neigh-sayers you've come to us at last

now with a stomp of your left foot we run before your wrath

if only we had turned before we took the wayward path.

JC 2017

Don't do it!


March 2, 2017

Did Bad Mutations Doom the Woolly Mammoth to Extinction?

Not to alarm you but here's the current scoop: Last of 'too silky' woolly mammoths blighted by bad mutations, a disturbing headline for woolly mammoth devotees to read but facts must be faced wherever they are found.

On an island between Russia and Alaska, Wrangel Island, mammoths frolicked in icier days and left behind study materials for scientists of the fossil persuasion. It seems that extinction came after silky hair developed (unsuitable for Ice Age climes) and upsetting cases of heartburn began to plague the woolly mammoth though one may wonder with our more advanced knowledge whether overeating or consuming too much peppery food were the real culprits behind the woollies' discomfort and unseemly belching.

So if bad mutations caused them big problems does that mean that woollies were mere science experiments gone wrong? If that's even a slight possibility, let's not repeat and release their 'bad mutations' and bilious stomachs upon the Earth, what say you? After all, the stinkers were exterminated once already and we don't want to have to do it again.

A Woolly Mammoth full of gas

came to my door one day

I gave him Tums for his heartburn

to make him go away.

jc 2017


February 3, 2017

Mystery Surrounds a Massive Woolly Mammoth Graveyard!

Did you hear about the Mystery Surrounding a Massive Woolly Mammoth Graveyard full of bones from several mammoths?

Well, even though it's been quite a while since poetry was inspired by woolly mammoth news here on Woolly Mammoth Chronicles, here's a small offering in honor of such a curious mystery:

Those mammoth bones found in a pit

concern me not a little bit

for if a clone should come to pass

don't call on me to wipe its ___

Okay, that's enough rhyming for today, don't you think?

jc 2017