March 2, 2017

Did Bad Mutations Doom the Woolly Mammoth to Extinction?

Not to alarm you but here's the current scoop: Last of 'too silky' woolly mammoths blighted by bad mutations, a disturbing headline for woolly mammoth devotees to read but facts must be faced wherever they are found.

On an island between Russia and Alaska, Wrangel Island, mammoths frolicked in icier days and left behind study materials for scientists of the fossil persuasion. It seems that extinction came after silky hair developed (unsuitable for Ice Age climes) and upsetting cases of heartburn began to plague the woolly mammoth though one may wonder with our more advanced knowledge whether overeating or consuming too much peppery food were the real culprits behind the woollies' discomfort and unseemly belching.

So if bad mutations caused them big problems does that mean that woollies were mere science experiments gone wrong? If that's even a slight possibility, let's not repeat and release their 'bad mutations' and bilious stomachs upon the Earth, what say you? After all, the stinkers were exterminated once already and we don't want to have to do it again.

A Woolly Mammoth full of gas

came to my door one day

I gave him Tums for his heartburn

to make him go away.

jc 2017


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